Run  Date / Time Venue Notes Hares
853 Fri 28 May 19:00 The Plough     Stony Stratford   MKH3 14th Anniversary Rubber Johnny

Run 853 Report by Shagalot


Run 853

MKH3 14th Anniversary

A Cock and Bull Story

1) The Plough

Cum Dancing and Shagalot arrived at the on-out a little bit on the late side and were greeted by a deafening silence from their fellow hashers - because there weren't any. Assuming that this was due to their late arrival - rather than no-one else had turned up - we resolved to follow the pack by consuming a pint in each pub and progressing increasingly eccentrically up the High Street of Stony Stratford. Saw a strange bloke lurking in the bushes and asked him if he'd seen any Hashers. He told us that Pussy Warmer had been there earlier but had buggered off the join Legover in the Albert. Apparently this bloke was a hasher himself - with the AQH3 whatever that is. Declined the invitation to join the MKH3 "run" though. Odd looking fellow.

2) Forester's Arms

Definitely a Guinness Pub this - no real ale. The Extra-Cold wasn't bad though despite lack of shamrock drawn on the head (who said that - I'll have some of it?). Still no sign of the rest of the pack. The Front-Drinking Bastards must really be necking it at a pace. The denizens of this watering hole were a really odd bunch. There was this one really huge bloke with long hair, a bushy beard and an extremely whiffy moleskin coat. Tried to get us to join him in a flagon of mead but we declined. The bar-lady - called Rosmerta or something like that - looked quite relieved when we upped and went. Said she wasn't used to strange Muggles in the Leaky Cauldron. S'funny - thought it was called the Forester's Arms.

3) The Old George

Firkin expensive pub this. Two pints of Hooky cost more than the Guinneii at the Leaky Cauldron. Due to the lack of atmosphere in the pub itself we retreated to the "garden" which turned out to be a whitewashed walled patio with only soil pipes for decoration. Lovely. Cum Dancing tried the old Indian trick of listening with ear to the pub table for the sound of the Front Drinking Bastards but to no avail. On-on to the next pub.

4) The Crown

This pub looked even more "wine-bar" and expensive than The Old Fart so we didn't even bother to go in.


5) The Vaults Bar

Still no Front Drinking Bastards but we did happen across Daisy who had managed to score a date with a troupe of 24 marching harriettes. None of them would buy a round when it was their turn so we ignored them. Plenty more big-busted fish in the Stony Sea we thought ... and how right we were. On-on to the Bull. 

6) The Bull

Came across (not literally) a well endowed harriette who had a bit of trouble with a particle of brain that had got lodged in her skull. Cum Dancing, fired by 5 pints of the amber nectar, gallantly volunteered to remove the offending item lingually. He claims to be a bit of a cunning linguist.


On-on to the Cock (Cock, who said Cock?  I'll have ... no wait a minute...)

7) The Cock

Or three to be exact. Shagalot and Cum Dancing need to insert hand in pocket to play with theirs but Daisy proudly fondles his above his trizer waistband. Our excuse is that we'd had five more beers. Enough to make any temperature indicator register sub-zero. The Doris in the previous pub also appeared to be quite cold unless she was smuggling Brazil Nuts. 


On-on to the Fox and Hounds


8) The Fox and Hounds

The old memory was getting a bit hazy by this time. From the picture this is a pub that has a lot of Guest Ales - see the pump badges arrayed above the bar. No idea which one we imbibed but we do seem to be enjoying it.

On-on to the White Horse

9) The White Horse

aka The Prancing Pony. Met a Tall Dark Stranger who claimed to know the secret of not shaving, washing or getting hair cut but still attracting the knickers off the harriettes. Bastard!

Cum Dancing approaching the point of not caring.

Who fancies a curry? 

10) The Bekash Tandoori

You may have noticed that the photo captions have become shorter and shorter in  direct proportion to the amount of ale consumed. However I am reliably informed that Shagalot had a Vindaloo, Cum Dancing a Madras and Daisy a Tikka - the strength of Curry also being directly proportional to the amount of beer drunk times the chilli tolerance quotient. When Shagalot asked for a Cobra (an "Indian" beer brewed in Bedford), apparently, Cum Dancing thought he'd asked for a Cola and ordered the same. This is the stuff that POW nominations are made of.

If you weren't there (this includes YOU Hare Rubber Jonny) then you missed out.








Last updated on Friday, 08. April 2011

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